Prodding isn't just for cattle

Men think they have it so tough.  At age fifty they're required to have their prostrate checked which is a slightly invasive procedure.  Usually performed by a female Doctor, a gloved finger is inserted up the posterior, to check for any abnormalities such as tumor growth.

That's nothing boys, earlier this week I was subject to an exam which included being violated with a condom clad cattle prod to glean an ultra sound picture of my endometrium, ovaries, and the newest addition to my anatomy - a large fibroid the size of a grapefruit.

How do you prepare for something like that?  No candy, no flowers, no conversation.  Just a wham bam thank you ma'am.  

A three day wait resulted in, what they consider, a normal reading.  Even though I have a small cyst on each ovary and an entangled mass growing in my lower abdomen.  So be it.  The fibroid is suppose to take care of itself, committing suicide and shrinking on its own, when I go through menopause.  

Bring it on.