Spring has sprung

Spring is the time for rebirth and all things new.

Although I am well past my child birthing years it always amuses me when I see flyers advertising baby items, it seems more prevalent at this time of the year.

Interestingly enough we say "sugar and spice and everything nice" and "Snaps and snails, and puppy-dogs' tails" for what little girls and little boys are made of.  It still amazes me that a great deal of people (women in particular) are under the misconception that they have control over the sex of their baby.

How often have I heard "I really wish I could have given my husband a boy".  The reality is you couldn't and you can't, simple 9th grade Biology people.  If you had been paying attention in class you would know this and relieve yourselves of the burden.  

I recall a neighbour of mine raking his wife over the coals for years because she gave birth to two beautiful daughters.  He kept reminding her of the 'fact' that she couldn't give him a son.

Well, the fact is, women only carry the 'x' chromosome, men carry both an 'x' and a 'y'.  If, at the fertile time of the month, a man only shoots 'x' chromosomes it can only result in 'xx' and the birth of a beautiful baby girl.  The deposit of a 'y' chromosome would mean a 'xy' mix which results in a boy.

Of course there are discussions on which travels faster, which is more durable, and what is the optimal day to conceive the chosen sex it still remains that the shooter (and not the shoot-e) are responsible for the gender of the child.  The only thing a woman determines out of the whole process is whether it will be a single or a multiple birth but that lesson, boys and girls, will be saved for another day.

Happy Spring everyone!

This is a mother???

I came across this hate filled letter on Facebook and it's not sitting well.  The only way to dispel it for me is to dissect it so that it may, more easily, be flushed down the sewage grate that is the holding tank for uneducated, opinionated, narrow minded people like this.

The letter starts:

To the lady living at this address:  

I also live in this neighborhood and have a problem!!!!  You most certainly do, and it doesn't have anything to do with the family you're spewing your hatred at, it has more to do with the fact that you are a nazi and you figure you should be living in some supremest gated community.  You have a kid that is mentally handicapped and you consciously decided that it would be a good idea to live in a close proximity neighborhood like this????  Yes, she did because she realizes, unlike yourself, that most people are educated enough to know that a child with Autism doesn't need to be segregated unlike YOU who clearly shouldn't be living in a close proximity neighborhood should your opinions and short comings be revealed and you find yourself no longer welcome.  You selfishly put your kid outside everyday and let him be a nothing but a nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling he constantly makes!!!  First let's address the fact that you are clearly uneducated and illiterate .. "whaling"  is a noun which means the work or industry of capturing and rendering whales.  So unless you are a salty old sea man you should know that the word you were trying to spell is "wailing".   That noise he makes when he is outside is DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!!  It scares the hell out of my normal children!!!!!!!!  I seriously find it amusing that you call your children "normal".  I'm sorry, but I'll have to assume that your hate filled ways have been passed on along the gene pool to your offspring, and if that's the case then there is nothing normal about them.  If your children are scared it's because you have instilled your bigoted opinion in them.  Why not take the opportunity to educate your children with love, tolerance and acceptance???  I would sincerely like to know who damaged you as a child, who instilled this vile attitude you have towards children with special needs?  Maybe when you are caught and put into some treatment center it will all come to light.  When you feel your idiot kid needs fresh air, take him to our park you dope!!!  We have a nature trail!!!  Let him run around those places and make noise!!!!!  Crying babies, music and even barking dogs are normal sounds in a residential neighborhood!!!!!  He is NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There is that word "normal" again.  There is nothing normal about you or your point of view.

He is a hindrance to everyone and will always be that way!!!!!  Like you?  Of the people that truly know you .. does anyone really like you?  Who the hell is going to care for him??????  Not you, thank God, so why is this your concern?  No employer will hire him, do you know this for fact?  I don't think you do because there are plenty of places that hire special needs people and they take far more pride in the jobs they accomplish than most people I know who have all their faculties about them!   no normal girl is going to marry/love him and you are not going to live forever!!  There's that word "normal" again .. and there is someone for everyone .. look at you, someone actually saw through that heart of stone and decided to marry you?  If you found a mate then anyone can.  Personally, they should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science.   This is the line that tears it for me.  You know, I wouldn't even dare suggest that if something happened to your sorry ass that any of your parts were donated for fear that the poison that runs through your blood would have tainted your "non human" parts like your heart.  How dare you!  What the hell else good is he to anyone!!!  What the hell good are you?  I feel sorry for your children I pray they are smarter than you.  You are an embarrassment to them.  They will have to live the rest of their lives apologizing for your actions.  You had a retarded kid, deal with it ... properly!!!!!!  I believe they are.  They are loving him, they are caring for him, and they are protecting him from vile guttersnipes like YOU.  What right do you have to do this to hard working people!!!!!!!  Really?  What exactly are they doing?  Showing the world that we don't live in a throw-away society?  Being beacons of light to other parents who may be in similar situations and knowing that they can be counted on to maybe share what works for them when dealing with one of the most precious things trusted to their care?  Or how about having the guts to have to stand against your special brand of bullshit day in and day out.  How dare they.  I HATE (yes you do) people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, you are entitled to special treatment!!!  Yes, because we both know what an easy life it is, sweet deal if you can get it,  but you know something if they make it look easy that tells me they're doing a damn fine job and you're not worthy to spit shine their shoes.  GOD!!!!!!  How dare you use God's name .. and may He have mercy on your soured soul.

Do everyone in our community huge a favor and MOVE!!!!  VAMOSE!!! Is it cruel to point out more grammatical issues and another spelling error?  I'll just let those ones go.   SCRAM!!!! Move away and get out of this type of neighborhood setting!!!  Go live in a trailer in the woods or something with your wild animal kid!!!  Nobody wants you living here and they don't have the guts to tell you!!!!!  All of this is true ... in relation to YOU.  No one wants your ugliness in their neighbourhood.  No one wants to worry about your warped sense of justice, and no one wants you lumping us all in with your abhorrence.

Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!!  The right thing would be if you turned yourself in, coward.  Either way, we are ALL better off!!!  You have lost touch with reality.  You are a scary individual.  I can calm my children's fears about the boogie man but there is no way to prepare them for the likes of you.  I pray they'll never have to cross your path and if they do I hope I have given them the tools to realize that you are someone to be watched but also someone to be pitied to be living in such a monstrous mind.

Sincerely, One pissed off mother!!!!!  You are the furthest thing from a mother.  A mother is filled with love, compassion, and has a ferocious need to protect young ones.  You are clearly devoid of any of those characteristics.

I believe now you will understand what a pissed off mother is when you incur the wrath of every mother that encounters you once your cowardly self has been discovered.

Have a nice day .. while you can. 

Shadows

Shadows

This song talks about shadows, and about not looking back, but sometimes the shadows shouldn't be ignored.  We have to find strength in the things we remember, we have to feed off the memories until we can be reunited, and we need to always be mindful of those shadows.

I believe that's how regrets form, we lose sight of the things we vowed were important, whether it's because we've chosen a different path for ourselves and we try shining a light to dispel them or we just lose our way for the moment ... but one way or another those shadows will return.

"When you took it all you forgot your shadow"

My darling daughter is going to be treading some rough waters for awhile, the love of her life is leaving temporarily and they are both forging new paths at this stage in their lives, but I don't want either one of them to lose sight of the shadows.  

Contrary to what some people believe distance can make the heart grow fonder ...  don't lose sight of what's important to you both.  Don't let go.

"Bags all packed.  Make sure you remember everything"

Love you KK

Mom xo 

 

Sepia is my friend

Sepia and other photo effects have recently made picture taking a little less painful for those with mature skin.  The filters give a tired complexion a stunning glow.

Is it deceptive?  Perhaps some would see it as so but in reality the world we live in seems to put a lot of emphasis on what we present outwardly, so why not put your best face forward?

Is it any different than painting our lips or cheeks with artificial colour, curling our hair if it's naturally straight, or penciling dark coal around our eyes to make them pop?

I still recall an episode of the Golden Girls where Bea Arthur is talking about how men view women.  She was the first to bring the reality of gravity, and what it does to a woman's face and body over the years, to the female viewer.  

She made a comment about never ever letting a man view a mature woman leaning over him, as this brings all your wrinkles forward and the similarity to a Shar Pei puppy is striking (to exemplify her remark she demonstrates what happens when she leans forward into a mirror).

On the other hand, as she moves the mirror overhead and peers into it she says, "the other option is to smooth all those wrinkles away by lying on my back but unfortunately then my breasts fall off to either side".

It was funny at the time I watched that episode some 25 years ago .. but the joke's on me as sadly now I feel the kinship.

The point is ladies, we have to do what makes us feel good about ourselves whether it's a photo filter, a bright new lipstick, or simply staying away from those offending mirrors.  These years have brought us a new sense of self and quite frankly I don't care what people say as long as I feel good about myself, that's all that matters.

Soldiering on.

Prodding isn't just for cattle

Men think they have it so tough.  At age fifty they're required to have their prostrate checked which is a slightly invasive procedure.  Usually performed by a female Doctor, a gloved finger is inserted up the posterior, to check for any abnormalities such as tumor growth.

That's nothing boys, earlier this week I was subject to an exam which included being violated with a condom clad cattle prod to glean an ultra sound picture of my endometrium, ovaries, and the newest addition to my anatomy - a large fibroid the size of a grapefruit.

How do you prepare for something like that?  No candy, no flowers, no conversation.  Just a wham bam thank you ma'am.  

A three day wait resulted in, what they consider, a normal reading.  Even though I have a small cyst on each ovary and an entangled mass growing in my lower abdomen.  So be it.  The fibroid is suppose to take care of itself, committing suicide and shrinking on its own, when I go through menopause.  

Bring it on.

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  I've noticed a shift in my hair growth patterns over the last several years.  

My eyebrows don't need nearly the attention they're used to and the hair on my legs has gotten finer which means I've been able to retire the weed whacker and a 'once a week' touch up will do.  Don't get me wrong I'm definitely not complaining but it seems these stray hairs have migrated from my brows and legs to my chin and neck.

God has a mighty sense of humor, perhaps it's to give us a taste of what our men folk have to deal with.  It's almost like a role reversal, we get some facial hair and they develop breasts and bellies that would put a pregnant woman to shame.

Medically speaking they say it's all due to hormone fluctuations.  Our Estrogen and Progesterone decrease and our testosterone elevates somewhat, causing the additional hair growth, not to mention (if you're one of the lucky ones), a surge in our libidos.

Well, if all else fails I could always pick up some extra coin as a side show act in a traveling circus.  God knows the way our government looks after its elderly I'll be needing the extra funds to make my golden years golden.

Feet

Seriously?  It's not something I ever thought about as a young woman, I think I took it for granted that the array of high heel beauties would always be available to me.

I remember being a little girl and trying to slip on my mother's high heel shoes.  I couldn't wait to be old enough to fill them.  I loved everything about them, not only how they looked but the wonderful sound they made as they struck a hard surface.

Last Saturday as I meandered through a local shoe department I spotted a pretty pair of camel coloured heels.  I wasn't in the market for a pair but I thought it would be fun to try them on just for size.

Imagine my shock and horror as I pulled down a pair of size 9's (thinking I was being more than generous since I used to be a size 8 prior to the birth of my offspring) only to feel like the ugly stepsister, Drizella, from the children's book Cinderella.

I checked the box and the inside of the shoe numerous times, perhaps it was actually a 6?  After all 6 and 9 can be easily confused.  Damn those little lines that underscore each number to avoid confusion!

Is this a cruel joke or is this nature's way of weeding out the weak?  A way to keep us elderly folks safe from breaking an ankle or a hip while teetering around on those 4 inch spikes?  Maybe Mother Nature knows best but I'm not liking the fact that my foot resembles the width of a cinder block.  Is this what's referred to as the middle age spread?

I used to look at older ladies and their Tender Tootsie footwear and think 'that will never be me' ... and now, sadly, I realize their choice is not only for comfort but also because they have been put into a category where all choices are no longer available to them.  I can almost feel the glare of Abercrombie & Fitch ... how dare we try to be fashionable.

And so I tread softly into my fifties with my crocs and sensible shoes, just another marker on my journey into this Half Century Club.